A CIRCLE OF WHITE

  A New Beginning

Thursday night we entered the N-1 Unit in Marlin, TX for another class of Bridges To Life.  Our search and pat down was very through.  Nancy's knee replacement always goes off!!!  We entered with a small team of God's Army to minister an exciting program that has decreased reentry into prison from 80% to 18%.  It's an opportunity for our ladies to take responsibility for their offenses, change, repent, make restitution, and gain peace.  Their time spent in prison needs to REHAB, not tear down more what is already broken. 

We viewed several film clips of victims and their stories.  Sitting there, we wondered how each lady felt.  They were the offenders and to see the tears, hurt, and pain of the victims must have been hard.

Our final DVD was 45 min. story of a true experience on the men's Death Row and the miracle of salvation and impact one changed man can have. It was told by the son of the offender who was also a victim of his father.  

We broke up in circles to review the homework and we found ourselves surrounded by white.  The uniforms are stained, wrinkled, and misfit.  Elastic waist bands in the pants and tops that don't match.  These offenders are stripped of all the details we love on the outside.  It's part of bringing them to the basics of life and hoping to gain their attention.  We were well aware that they had put actions to their heart feelings and we had not, BUT we had held some of the same feelings they had.  As God looked at our hearts, we think He saw a complete Circle of White, not just 20 and 3 in colored clothing.  Had we ever hated, wished someone was not alive in our lives, wanted to stop the pain we felt, quit caring for those who depended on us???? Yes, yes we have, but by God's grace, we had not acted on those feelings and often turned from them.  God's grace...…separated us from the offenders.  Not because we had NEVER felt their anger or hatred, or depression, but somewhere, someone had led us into His grace and opened our hearts to better choices. 

How many of those in the Circle of White were raped by their dads, raised in a drug infested home, sold into prostitution, or displaced by foster care and told they would never amount to anything.  We will soon find out.  Next week, they start sharing their testimonies and pouring out the pain, the anger, the hopelessness they live in.  We are there to support, and turn them to another way, new choices, and a REAL relationship to Jesus Christ.  This will be our part, to unlock those prison doors and set these captives free.  Saved by the grace of God, but there go I.  That is a very true statement.  We pray that each lady in the Circle of White will be taking off those dirty uniforms of the offenders and slipping on the white robes of forgiveness and righteousness.  Some have murdered, some have stolen, and others stopped pain by drugs and alcohol and injured someone else in the process.  

It's hard to remove the filthy garment of offending and wear the robe of righteousness.  Shame and guilt wrap around their memories.  Family members walk away with unspeakable hurts, and society braces to protect themselves from their reentry into neighborhoods and churches. We are being asked to pour out of our own brokenness and failures what God will do for each in this circle. We cannot offer ourselves because we too are in such need of His grace.  We offer Jesus and Him alone.  The healer and lifter of our heads, the healer of broken hearts and lives.  The one who makes beauty from ashes.  I pray that at the end of the 14 weeks together, we will see in the Spirit, all ladies sitting in white robes of righteousness and the offenders white uniforms at His feet- forgiven and restored. 

May we all leave our white uniforms of offense at His feet and wear with aw and wonder the white robes of righteousness our Father places over us as we accept Jesus into our hearts.  May each lady reenter a new creation, free of her past, full of God's Word and walking obedient in His ways.  Restore them Lord and also those they have offended.  Pour sweet heavenly healing on all the hearts they have broken and on their hearts.  Thank you Lord, we can sit in the Circle of White remembering we too are offenders before you and the gift of forgiveness and new beginnings you offer each of us.  

I'm Not Enough .....

                                                              I Need You

I was traveling back from one of the prison units late last pm and I received an email with a song on it from one of my children.  Coach and I had just been overwhelmed at the ladies in white.  The room was full of white uniforms, smiles, and pain.  I saw pain on every face, but also happiness in the Lord.  We came so I could share on ANGER, a very real issue for incarcerated people.  As I stood before them, I realized I was NOT enough for their needs.  How could I understand what they were going through???? Did I sleep without a pillow?  Were my clothes stained and not clean?  Had I lost most of my teeth from drugs and neglect?  Had I buried my child only 3 mo. ago just the day before he was to come visit me?  

As I listened to the song that was sent to me, I cried as I realized that I'm Not Enough ...unless YOU come, I need YOU, will you meet me here again.  That's what I heard over and over.  It was SO true.  How on earth could I be enough for this kind of wounds and pain?  If God did not show up, there would be no ministry, no healing, no wisdom, in my weakness, HIS glory would appear!  The ladies did not need me, not at all.  They needed Him because with Him healing will pout into the broken vessels, comfort to the mother in the back wiping tears the entire time, or the lady hoping she is not too old for our new program because she does not want to return home to fail.  Come Holy Spirit was all I could ask for.  

Again, Coach and I left changed, humbled to have served and stood beside the forgiven and loved of God.  We had visited God in prison and brought a cool drink of water through the Word.  Lord, we are NEVER enough, WE NEED YOU LORD, meet us Lord daily as we go where it is not easy, comfortable, or positive at times. May we never say, we can't go, but say, yes Lord, I'll be right there.  Not for a minute was I forsaken, for the Lord was in this place!  

The Eagle

                                   Waiting Upon the Lord

Waiting is hard.  It takes patience day after day.  During that waiting period, you can loose vision, hope, and doubt sets in.  That's why it's always good to write down what God is speaking to you or directing you to.  When the "wait" comes, you can review, rehearse, and remember God's words.  Those are the words that NEVER fail.  They are true, faithful, and dependable, just like our God.  

The Word promises us that when we wait, we will have renewed strength.  We will mount up with wings as the  eagle, run and not be weary, walk and not faint!

We are waiting at Lifeway Haven.  The beds are made, the home is ready, girls are approved, 501c(3) is here, TDCJ has approved, and we wait.  The prison has required more exit classes for the approved girls.  Two of our approved ladies had families step up and ask them to come home for support.  That is exciting, but we hope they will support them, because reentry is HARD.  Felons can't get work  easily, housing is challenging, and buying cars and houses are not  one stop shopping for them.  

Each morning we are here, we get up, put on the coffee, head to the screen porch, bibles in hand and go before the Lord.  We are rehearsing, reviewing, and remembering His call, His words, His heart for these ladies.  We are putting out personal fires, distractions, and disruptions in every turn because we KNOW...… the enemy is mad!  He doesn't want this home, these ladies, the hope of God to happen.  He is wearing down the saints as best he can.  He has touched the apple of our eyes at times and we have all been stretched, but we WAIT.  We wait on our hope and on His timing.  He is never late.  Resources are pouring in, volunteers are getting in line, prayer warriors are signing up and we are preparing down to the last minute.  We are experiencing the strength of the eagle.  We are running and are not weary.  We have not fainted nor become discouraged.  We have built it as He directed and they WILL come, in His timing.  Thank you for your prayers in this "wait".

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

A Girl and Her Bags

                                                              ANGELA

We had just finished a packed 2 days meeting a Board member for Lifeway Haven.  After 2 days of meeting his family and sharing testimonies of how we came into our relationship with God, it was time to return to Lifeway.  Our directors drove us there and we returned tired and ready to unpack and settle back into our routine.  About 5 miles from where our car was left, we all noted a young woman sitting on the side of the road.  Her head was buried in her hands and she was surrounded by about 6 bags of luggage.  It was HOT and it appeared she was stranded.  

Our director, looked back at us and his wife and asked what we all thought about stopping and trying to help her.  The census became a quick YES in the car.  She shared she was walking to a large town to be with her 2 teen boys and had been thrown out by her boyfriend.  Her bags she sat on were a representation of the baggage in her life.  It was not too long before we recognized that.  

We dropped her off at a quick stop and after giving her some cold water and money, she decided to stay there and hope for another ride to get her closer to  her destination.  We got into our car where we had left it and the agreement was that we were to return and if she was still there, take her in to her destination ourselves.  

We returned and there she was, red faced, sweating, and sitting on all those heavy bags.  She hopped into the air conditioning car and a destination was told to us.  We had a 30 min. drive, so we loved on her the whole way there! We told her how much God loved her and it was NOT His plan for her to be sitting on the side of the road alone.  Tears began to fall as we both told her He loved her VERY much.  We passed tissue to her and in a few minutes, a Bible we had in the car.  She shared her distressing situation, jail time facing her, not attending church, and much more.  We directed her to the fact that this was NOT an accident and we met her for a purpose.  

She willingly let us pray for her and as she slipped out of the car, she turned and thanked us and gave us a big hug.  We unloaded all her bags and in our hearts we prayed that she would unload her emotional bags and hurts onto her Father who sent us there.  What an opportunity.  She was tender.  We had seen cotton field after cotton field where we were on our trip. There was the white fluffy balls on each plant, ready to be picked.  We had been reminded that the fields are white unto harvest and we found a soul ready for the love of God sitting on the side of the road.  

She told us all we were angels and we thought perhaps she was one, testing us to see if we would drive by and not care!  We all agreed that this moment was the BEST part of our trip and a great reminder that we are His agents and to always be ready in season and out! We've decided to buy 2 Bibles for the car now and always keep that extra one for back up!  God bless you Angela as He reveals himself and His enormous love for you.  Just a stem of cotton ready to be picked by God's Cotton Pickers, working His fields in the heat and lateness of the day . What an AWESOME God and Father we have.  His tender mercies and new every morning.  

We're Almost Ready!!!!!!!!!

                                    Preparing the Ground

Anyone who has ever planted at garden knows you don't just pick a spot and stick a plant into the ground first thing.  Preparing the ground is a MUST.  Picking out the weeds, removing rocks, stumps, and turning over the ground that is fallow, never been worked, is ALL required for success.  That's is what Lifeway Haven has been doing.  It seems SOOOOO long, but it is very necessary for success.  

We have a table that many meetings have taken place around.  The rules and regulations have been combed over time and time again.  We have prayed, sought counsel, asked those closest to the ladies who will be doing reentry, their opinions.  Our directors took many trips before we came on board to see other works and ministries of this type and learn from them.  

At Lifeway, we want to do exactly as the Lord directs.  We have made some shifts because we felt the Holy Spirit directing us to do so.  The rooms will not be give Biblical names or named by the Fruit of the Spirit as so many do.  The Lord showed us to put each lady's name and the meaning of her special name on the door.  It's beautiful.  We have begun to do those name signs and have put a few up.  We realize the importance of organization in every area of the house....kitchen, laundry, work schedules, chores, etc.  We have created boards with tags, names, dates, directions for each area.  We have burned up a laminator and label gun for sure!!!!!!!  They are a MUST in start up.

 This is the master schedule board for chores, kitchen duty daily, devotions, and memos.  We striped a white board and worked for a week on house cleaning M W F with detail cards to match each room of this BIG house to be cleaned.  As the ladies enter, we will assign them to a chore, kitchen duty, and devotional day and rotate the board.  This is only one of several ways we communicate with the ladies and help them all to know where to be, what to do, and when to do it.

This is preparing the ground for success and not failure.  When a person has been incarcerated for years, the world did not stand still for them.  It progressed, but many of these ladies were not able to in areas.  They will have their first PILLOW in years, a window to look outside, a private bathroom with a door so no one can stare at them.  They will experience cool air and ice which has NOT been a part of their living conditions.  We will be putting a lot of OIL on their dryness of heart, soul, and even their skin!  Lotions are set in the bathrooms, shampoos in the showers and laundry soaps for clothing to be washed in.  Our ladies will experience a home.

When you open up to 12 ladies to begin with, you buy 12 of everything and stock the pods of 4 with all the necessities of life.  It has taken time, but the facility is ready, inspected and approved from TDCJ, beds made, kitchen stocked with cookware, food bank on standby, volunteers waiting in line, and prayer partners lining up to accept a valuable role for each lady.

We are putting up a tall fence for our exotic animals that the ladies will bottle feed for a business and therapy.  These animals are precious and raised by our director on his ranch.  This is a quick shot of Nancy feeding the animals and Coach also had a wonderful time with "Roo" as he fed him by hand.

Director Steve Griffith and Nancy

We have 3 ladies that are approved and we are waiting for the prison to let them out.  They are completing some required classes dealing with their offenses and then we will get that awaited call.
It's almost time to start the garden it seems, and we feel we have tried to prepare the soil well for success.  We have transitioned our belongings into our apartment and spent several weeks there working and praying.  We are ready, the directors are ready, the house is ready....Let's plant the garden!!!!!!!!!

The Blessing Closet

                                                       VOLUNTEERS
Wednesday night the Lifeway Haven ministry for women was visited by some eager volunteers.  They have heard of the new transitional home for incarcerated ladies to transition into for the 2 yr. program.  Second changes are wonderful for us all AND we ALL need 2nd chances.

We have 12 beds ready, an EX-Large kitchen, screen porch, gathering room for games, and a living room for meetings and movies.  There is one last room that is VERY much a necessity....the clothing closet.  Since most of our items are donated, we call our closet the Blessing Closet. It has been transformed from a broken down, drab room and had an upgrade!  Coach painted the dull walls light blue.  Roy, our handyman, built the racks.  After Coach painted the boards for shelves, stained the rods, they put them up together.  Wow, it's BIG!

Our director, Melinda, has been washing, ironing, and hanging boxes of donations.  We brought 5 black garbage bags full also from our church, Covenant Church, in Willis, TX.  Now, we had to put this room together.  Of course we got that special call that a group of ladies wanted to come and do a project for us.  Melinda and I knew what it was....the Blessing Closet!!!!!   It was overwhelming to think of organizing all those clothes.  Coach put together too large shelving units from Sam's Club for each of the 2 rooms.  Now, we only needed the ladies.

Volunteers working in the Blessing Closet

Wednesday night after a nice dinner together, we attacked the room.  (lots of hormones in that room !!!)   What would have taken us days together, it was completed, tidy, and all finished in 1 1/2 hr. !  Amazing work done by these ladies.  Thursday, one of our Mennonite volunteers, Leon, came and she and I cleaned about 70 pairs of shoes and boots.  Now, we're headed to the other room to begin filling it too for our ladies.

It really was like watching Gideon's army at work in that room.  We are So grateful for this level of participation and helping hands.  We all believe that the baby is soon to be delivered!  We're ready for sure.

This is only 1/2 of the 1st room !!!!!

TY volunteers and donors of these BEAUTIFUL clothes, shoes, and so much more!!!!! How awesome is our God.  How deeply He cares for us all no matter our circumstances.  Most of the ladies will come in a set of men's clothing given to them by the prisons.  Don't you think they will smile when they see what their Father has arranged just for them !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Fields of Sudan

                              Grace and Her Brother

Our 9 months service in Sudan in 2008 has continued to be a blessing to us.  The 10 years laps between our service and now has amazed us at the blooming of many seeds planted by so many those months in the Harvesters Orphanage.

Grace was one of our young ladies in the orphanage.  Recently, she connected with us on FB.  We just love seeing her photos and smile.  She is attending secondary school in Uganda after fleeing Yei, Sudan from the fighting there.  Grace mentioned her younger brother is in a refugee camp and she is housed in a group setting for students.  She has no parents and no support.  We have been praying if we were to help Grace.  The knock on our hearts came a few weeks ago.

Grace

In a conversation over texting, she asked us to pray for her.  She was anxious and fighting depression .  When I probed more, she said she could NOT locate her little brother who is in a refugee camp.  We prayed together for God to locate him and in 5 days, she found him.  We continued to write and we felt the Lord direct us to send Grace only a $100.  Now, here in the U.S., that is not much, but in Sudan, it is a large amount.  Grace was speechless when we got her contact info to wire the money.  She immediately sent money to her brother for food and medical help.  He was very sick and unable to get medicine.  Then, we got this picture of the cooker!

Grace's cooker for meals

When I asked Grace if she only boiled water on it, she said, "No Mom, I learned to cook.  When I get home late from studies and have no charcoal, I can cook on this and it's such a help!"  We received many thank yous from her and her brother.  I stopped, remembering the wood stoves we cooked on in Sudan, and thought of my own new kitchen appliances in our log home.  I was so concerned to get just the right color, size, and convinces.  Here Grace is concerned with no charcoal!  Oh Lord, help us we prayed!  She then added she kept the rest for food money.  Grace has known hunger, abandonment, and separation.

Thank you Lord for sending us to Sudan to see how spoiled we are.  Thank you for letting us live their life and feeling their pains.  Now, we pray Father, we will NOT forget those in the Body of Christ who need us so deeply.  We are reminded that a generous giver, one who waters well others, will be watered in his time of need.  Enjoy Grace, and thank YOU for the reminder that all the world is not like we are.  Thank you Lord for our abundance and show us how to help others.  Thank you for the Fields of Sudan.  May we never forget that field.